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The Three Musketeers (2011)

October 23, 2011

The Three Musketeers
October 20, 2011
08:15 PM
Cinema 6, H11
Eastwood Mall
Quezon City

The Three Musketeers is a very gay movie given the protagonists are French. That’s why when I say I think this latest commercialization of Athos, Porthos, Aramis, and D’Artagnan is gay, I mean every connotation and denotation the word has to offer. I say it is gay as in “effeminate” or “homosexual” because of the budding bromance among the brotherhood, the master-slave relationship with respect to the rotund house help, as well as that awkward conversations between the fashion–victim of a king and the young D’Artagnan. Needless to say, Freddie Fox, who portrays the wimpy, no, I mean gay, French Monarch King Louis XIII of France, is a sight to behold with or without the mustache. Logan Lerman is rather more adorable and entertaining this time around compared to the first time I saw him in that flick called Percy Jackson wherein I actually fell asleep. But to say that he is the main reason this movie is a success in some aspects might be too much credit for the kid.

Now, having expounded on the connotation about all of its gayness and glory, I will focus on what makes The Three Musketeers a gay movie as in a happy movie. It is happy not only because as usual, the good guys win in the end, but because of the swashbuckling adventure it has to offer to us moviegoers. Yes, this movie feels like Pirates of the Caribbean. As such, you will be entertained without burning a lot of brain cells. Although the special effects reminds me of the laughing stock that is Deep Gold, the witty lines, the humor, as well as the production, costumes, and innuendos is enough to save the day.

I’m also very happy to see a lot of character actors (and actresses) in the film such as Mads Mikkelsen (you most likely know him as Bond, James Bond’s gambling foe in Casino Royale,) Christoph Waltz (the successful Jew Hunter from Inglourious Basterds, who failed miserably in his role in Green Hornet,) and Milla Jovovich, strutting their stuff as nefarious and scheming men (and woman) of that century. Of couse, there’s Orlando Bloom, who although I believe was not such a plus in terms of acting contribution to the film, he might have been the first crowd-drawer for this movie. Hence, his logical topbilling in the movie as emphasized in the poster above.

To be honest though, I think the best movie about Three Musketeers is still the one that has Chris O’Donnell in it circa 1990s with the uber brooding soundtrack with Rod Stewart, Bryan Adams, and Sting. But if I were to compare the enjoyment and contentment I got from this compared to, say, The Man In The Iron Mask which also had its own set of gruesome threesome, this set of jolly characters as acted out by Matthew Macfadyen, Luke Evans, and Ray Stevenson, will trump out that of Leonardo DiCaprio’s anytime of the day.

All for one and one for all. This movie basically works because of all the characters that are put into play. If one of the characters in this installment were to magically vanish, I believe I would not have been thaaat entertained.

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