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Zombadings (2011)

September 4, 2011

September 2, 2011
09:30 PM
Cinema 2
Glorietta 4
Makati City
Chris dela Riva

Finally, I was able to watch the much-talked about indie Pinoy movie right after “Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank” called “Zombadings” thanks to Globe Telecom with special mention to Coy Caballes, Social Media Manager (your name and official designation in-bold and underlined as “agreed,” although this was supposed to be for the Social Media Marketing article I interviewed you for but for some reason, I fear, will no longer see the light of day.) Actually, the said movie was supposed to be just the icing on the cake which is the actual Product Launch for m.globe, a one-stop portal to the ultimate mobile web experience. I actually thought this product they were launching was similar to the ON Service which they also invited me over for last August 10 at 121 Bar at Pasong Tamo Extension last August 10. Guess, I was wrong. I really should learn how to read and comprehend. Hehehe.

Anyway, since I actually do have a day job, I wasn’t able to join the actual press launching held way earlier, say, around 5 PM. In fact, I was also very late for the first screening of the said film. As such, there was already a big possibility that I traveled all the way from Manggahan, Pasig City just to eat at Wendy’s and then go straight back home. I’ve seen all of the movies showing that weeknight except Zombading, after all, and I had a full plate for work the very next day.

That’s why it’s a good thing that Globe reserved 2 cinemas and 2 screening times for #Zombadings and Coy Caballes was kind enough (ahem, ahem) to allow me and dela Rivs to eat our dinner first. Best of all, with a lot of time to spare afterwards, we had the opportunity to have a photo op picture taking opportunity with the legendary Roderick Paulate. Chris, on the other hand, had mooore pictures with the rest of the cast. Hehehe. I’ll upload the pictures later as soon as dela Rivs sends it to me (Yes, I’m talking to you!)

Anyway, back to the movie, watching Zombadings with all of its silliness, is really actually funny. But then again, it would presuppose 3 things: 1.) You think being fabulous is funny or, at the very least, something you can comfortably laugh about; 2.) You have nothing against the LGBT community; and, 3.) You actually believe in magical stuffs like that “gaydar” that fries the life out of gay people (both closeted and out homosexuals, mind you!) as well as any chanting chanting by some localized oompa loompa that can, weirdly enough, raise only the dead homosexuals back to life. And so, if you have any issues with any of the 3 items above, I deeply am sorry but you might be troubled with this film either emotionally, spiritually, psychologically,or, worse, intellectually. Leave your brains at home if ever you are going to watch this movie. If you do, just like I did, you’re gonna have a great time.

For the benefit of all ye who got directed to my blog with the keywords “Zombadings Chant,” this might help you:

Charoterang isprikitik, umapear ka vahkler. Magpa-feel, magpa-sense ditey sa baler. Witiz shokoley ang udangchi ditey sa fezbuk mong kalerkey! 

However, should you be looking for what Roderick Paulate’s assistant was uttering to bring the Zombies back to life that goes “jinapi, jinaway,” please bear with me for now. We’re still researching. Hahaha! Special thanks to IamMarkGriffin GriffinSaber for sharing the chants to me over Twitter.

However, I would like to point 2 things which really striked me with Zombadings. The first one is the love of a father to his son. Believe it or not, it was only around 30 minutes into the film that I found out that Martin Escudero who plays Remington is the real son of John Regala who plays Remington’s father in the movie, hence the uncanny resemblance. Now, even with the risk of spoiling the supposed twist in the end, the intention of John Regala’s character to switch places with his son was so delicate a topic, I actually feared the way it would be executed would send out a tidal wave of hatred whichever way possible. After all, the father’s line in the movie, in my honest opinion, generalized a lot about what being gay is all about. I know I’ve heard or read or watched somewhere this kind of statement: “It’s already difficult to be a (insert a minority here) in this world. I don’t want my son to be gay as well.”

But then again, I guess the way John Regala showed “a father’s ultimate sacrifice,” that is if and only if being “gay” is an act of sacrifice, overshadowed whatever contentions any narrow-minded prick would have later on. And for that, I applaud my hands figuratively. To say this film is bound to win any gender-sensitive awards later on might not really be newsworthy anymore.

Second, I would like to expound on the generalizations and stereotyping of any straight guy who is about to turn into a homosexual. Look around you people. Some gay guys don’t look like one. And, fair enough, some straight ones look gay, if you know what I mean. Hehe. Well, this might be a requirement for the movie though since there’s nothing utterly funny about a teenage guy turning into an Anderson Cooper. But for some reason he blossomed into a Vice Ganda or a homosexual Cher, chances are, a lot of giggles would come out soon enough. Hence, the outfit, the shaved armpit hair, the catwalk walk, the tightfit shirts, and of course, the uber confounding gay lingo has to fall into place. As cliche as it may sound, this is actually a “Coming of Age” film with all the pointlessness of local humor which makes our superheroes topbill this list of the 6 Most Baffling Superheroes from Around the World!

My first foray into the mysticism, yes, the right word for me is “mysticism,” of the gay lingo first came into my consciousness after watching Windtalkers which stars Nicholas Cage. I believe there is a lot of spirituality with this sub-language or sub-culture or whatever, because try as I might to understand the actual words uttered by Bekimon, my mind cannot go further than the usual chorva, chuva, echosera, and my all-time favorite “Tom Jones.” I believe to talk in a Beki Language requires a lot of belief that you and the other Beki you are talking with both understand each other. This is why after seeing Windtalkers, I firmly believe the Philippine military and intelligence units can do wonders with having homosexuals in the service in contrast with America’s controversial Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy. In fact, no amount of torture can make em talk and spill the codes especially if the ones who act as “windtalkers” are madly into S&M. Hahaha.

This is why in the midst of all the furor about the James Soriano article entitled “Language, learning, identity, privilege,” I cannot help but feel sorry for the guy plainly because he was just being truthful. I hail from Tagum, Davao del Norte, and, in my honest opinion, I have learned English so much better than the Filipino Language. Yes, I have picked up Hiwaga comics when I was still in kindergarten which made me learn the very big differences between our dialects, but the influence of Archie Comics, The Adventures of Tintin, and the first fiction novel I’ve ever read, Franklin M. Dixon’s The Hard Boys, specifically The Demon’s Den, surpassed my interest and “comfortability” with our country’s own national language with that of the supposed “language of the learned.”

To say James Soriano is just being elitist might be true, but to say that English is just the language of the elitist is completely wrong. With all due respect to the faculty & administrators of Saint Mary’s College in Tagum, I’ve learned my English outside of 4-corners of the classroom. I’ve learned it from reading and watching stuff they don’t want me and the rest of my classmates at that time to waste our time with. If only I had a picture of how I was, and how we were, we are too far from the privileged few who proudly wears the green or the blue all their lives. English is not only the language of the learned, it is the language of those who dream. In this age of globalization, you would be sadly handicapped if you don’t know the difference between “it” and “it’s” or that of “your” and “you’re”. But this doesn’t mean I have nothing but disrespect or disinterest with our native tongue. English can make us competitive but only the Filipino Language can make us united.

Moreover, this does not mean I completely agree with James Soriano’s article for I also believe at some point he was being insensitive to the point of being tactless. But regardless of who James Soriano is and what he has to say, reality is the only way to get things done with the masses is to speak to them – to us – in the language we are most comfortable with. Truth hurts, but denial is deadlier.

On the other hand although some would say, the Bekimon Language or what some would refer to as Bekinese, as what Remington has learned magically in a span of days, is the real language of the permed learned, having seen the movie Zombadings, I would like to push it further and say Bekinese is the language of understanding. Ever since the world began to talk, people have made subcultures and new languages in order to protect and preserve themselves. People on the outside, on the other hand, fear the unknown and act irresponsibly as a course of action. Have you heard about the case of Filipino-American nurses who got fired for speaking in Tagalog? That issue, I believe, isn’t whether the other people in the hospital even really cared about what they were discussing. It was just out of fear that America is slowly turning Asianized and the powerlessness of not understanding Japanese, Chinese, Korean or Tagalog Filipino, might have been too much for them to bear.

Shokot (Gay Lingo) means takot (Tagalog) or fear in English. But what is the meaning of this? Watch Zombadings as a representation of all the marginalized entities worldwide and you’d began to understand why people like Hitler existed. Watch it with an open heart and an open mind and in between the punchlines you’d see a glimmer of hope that someday we’re all gonna speak as one. Zombadings is a funny movie, but it is so much more than that.


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10 Comments leave one →
  1. September 4, 2011 11:55 am

    Interesting review, King! Zombadings and beyond! 🙂

  2. September 4, 2011 3:40 pm

    Haha! I think I saw you in the Zombadings screening at Glorietta. Nice thoughts although tingin ko funny lang talaga ang Zombadings. I’m gay btw and I have no issues with the movie.

  3. September 5, 2011 1:21 am

    Haha I still am trying to think about the encantation of that kid wearing a Maroon Paige Uniform, goodness parang HP lang toh, kinakabisado ang mga curses at encantation : P


    PS: I changed by twitter to Profile to @GrffinSaber thanks

  4. September 5, 2011 1:21 am

    That’s @GriffinSaber sorry..

  5. September 5, 2011 4:52 pm



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