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Twilight (2008)

December 7, 2008

Cinema 3, 7:00 PM
Glorietta 4, Makati City

Watching Twilight was like eating rice these days for me. I know I shouldn’t have, but I did it anyway. I don’t know if it was the boredom, the need to celebrate (or should I say uplift my weary spirit), or the fact that I have received several forwarded messages all about the glory and wonder of this supposed immortal (no pun intended) love story of all time, that made me travel all the way to Glorietta 4 from my humble abode along Commonwealth Avenue, Quezon City (Yeah, I could’ve gone to Trinoma instead, but this is the explanation). But whatever the reason, I would like to formally express that I regret watching every minute of it. It also doesn’t help that ticket prices at G4 are now as high as P170. WTF, right? P170 for Twilight?

It’s not that I am the supposed-intellectual-type who only watches period films or indie cinema. And no, I am not a tough-guy-wannabe who only goes to the movie where there are only guns and a lot of testosterone. As a matter of fact, I enjoy watching chick flicks (or as I prefer to call it, shallow movies) because it does cheer me up. Unfortunately, just because I respect and watch these type of movies does not mean I take it blindly. I prefer movie plots to be rational and logical at the very simplest sense. Twilight is a very fast-paced movie, and I don’t mean it in a positive way.

I know love is blind for the hopeless romantics (or love is free for those who prefer John Lennon to every other songwriter or poet wannabe in the planet), but come on, I find it hard to believe how Bella and that pale vampire dude could speak eternal love in between a couple of zzzs.

I mean, yeah, a certain level of “love at first sight” exists (I listen to Kylie Minogue), but that doesn’t show in Twilight. In fact, thanks to this particular movie, I can now fathom bear Jack and Rose’s dimwit tragic love story altogether. I know Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On can still destroy a good mood way before chorus but not as vertigo-inducing as the bullshit of a line “I no longer have the strength….” See, I don’t even have the stomach to type it completely. Best of all, I firmly believe that love is patient as what the Good Book has been preaching since the time of Jesus Christ.

But then again, I believe any girl would get in a relationship with any lunatic if her mom were Nina Myers. And oh, now we know the real deal about Dr. Karev’s Jane Doe and her supposed memory loss. Haha! Kidding aside, why are the high school peepz from Fork so sugar and spice and everything nice to the new girl? Haven’t they seen Mean Girls ? Or Bratz? Is that the real deal inside American high school campuses or is it the other way around?

Lest not we forget about the ending as well. WTF, right? All those love crap capped with the trivial need to run away from a rogue vampire dude (nice hair, bad acting)? And here I am thinking it was going to be a Gretchen Barreto stint ala You & Me Against The World! Where’s the romance in that?

Twilight could have been a very nice movie. In fact, it may have been a very nice book. But just like what happened to The Da Vinci Code, a couple of hours do not do any justice to the novel at all. The build-up of the love between the 2 protagonists is just so unfounded. It makes one wonder if MTRCB was able to cut some scenes or something (Vampires don’t have sex, really?). It doesn’t make sense at all (Yeah, yeah love doesn’t make sense). But then again, this might be something you should expect in a movie that puts a supposed 17-year old vampire up on a pedestal.

But then maybe it’s just me. I know there are a million of screaming Twilight fans out there (Heck the Korean girls at my left and older women at my right just giggled at every line uttered by the dashing Edward Cullen), but I just have to lay it out in the open.

Twilight sucks, and once again, no pun intended.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 16, 2009 11:49 pm

    seems likely that they will come out with a Twilight sequel pretty soon, there’s a crazy lot of ticket sales at stake

  2. January 17, 2009 6:03 am

    I’m so excited 😐


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