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Just Thinking Out Loud

June 27, 2006

You know that thing they say that your dreams are nothing more than your subconscious thinking out loud? And that your subconscious is nothing more than your real, repressed self saying, “Hello, I exist?” Well, over the course of a few days beginning last Friday, I’ve been having a lot of lengthy, vivid dreams, which is quite unusual because I rarely do. And if I do dream, it’s often those shitty and crappy nightmare stuff with the special mention of loosing teeth while asleep.

Things really got clearer after yesterday. I had a rough time both at work and school. It seems like because I’m so (believe it or not) generally nice and friendly and helpful to people they end up not giving a flying shit about who I really am in relation to who they are in life. At any rate, it made me take out my life book once again. No, my life book is not something made by Fujitsu. This life book is one of the best gifts I have ever received in my life from a very important person in my life. This book is so nice because it makes me think of every person who had so much impact in my puny existence whether it be for the good and bad. In short, every time I get to scan its pages, it automatically reminds me of the people I would like to repay and annihilate at the same time. Hehehe.

And so, after almost a year again, I began to fill its pages with new answers to old questions. It’s funny to realize how one’s taste and priorities change over time. I’ve been doing this since 2002 and my God how much have I changed since then. Anyway, at the end part of the book is my infamous Life Timeline.

After years and years of telling myself what I want to accomplish in life, well, things are still the same. It’s the execution that has changed. I still want to rule the world in every basic sense if you wanna ask me. But how, you may ask, is a totally different strategy. The vision is intact; the mission is undergoing a major overhaul.

Coming back to my dreams, the first one I had was seeing myself walking along a famous park somewhere in this planet, which was creepy really. Then, I saw my supermodel kids graduating from college. Wow, am I ever gonna live that long? Third, I had a dream, which really gave me the kicks, because if Dr. Freud was correct, it turns out I have this one big crush on a former classmate. Wahaha! And finally, an emotional scene that I’d rather not talk about just yet.

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